i've been feeling like this since last night (well, it was triggered last night, atleast). my life has been very frustrating and now, i find myself lost in all of this (whatever you call this freaken chaos i'm in right now). these are the times when i like to stop caring about anything and even possibly anyone. i know, it's probably not good to shut the world off but i feel like i need to retreat from everything and calm myself down.
i went to mass feeling like crap last night. i tried so hard to seem okay but i wasn't even smiling when i served.
everything sort of matched my mood last night. there weren't that much people who attended mass last night. the lights were kind of dimmed than the usual but the altar looked really beatiful. they changed the drapes to the shades of brown and maroon (autumn colors) and decorated it with exotic hawaiian flower arrangements. and ofcourse, cornicopias (sp?) with harvest fruits and vegetables for the upcoming "Thanks Giving" day. that was nice. but i was still close to tears.. it's like i've never felt mass to be so much emotinal than last night. i held it back cuz i heard my friend sniffling. i usually feel like i need to be strong for my friend when these things happen. like, i forget my own troubles and suddenly take up on something that's not even mine.
i don't know if that should be a good thing or bad. but it's in my nature.. sometimes, i don't even realize i'm being like that.
i know my entry is very vague. in time, i will tell you what's going on. i don't even know where to start. for now, i think, let's just let it be. i know, i will come to understand what's going on but not in my time. it's always about His time, He knows what's best. Always.
i went to mass feeling like crap last night. i tried so hard to seem okay but i wasn't even smiling when i served.
everything sort of matched my mood last night. there weren't that much people who attended mass last night. the lights were kind of dimmed than the usual but the altar looked really beatiful. they changed the drapes to the shades of brown and maroon (autumn colors) and decorated it with exotic hawaiian flower arrangements. and ofcourse, cornicopias (sp?) with harvest fruits and vegetables for the upcoming "Thanks Giving" day. that was nice. but i was still close to tears.. it's like i've never felt mass to be so much emotinal than last night. i held it back cuz i heard my friend sniffling. i usually feel like i need to be strong for my friend when these things happen. like, i forget my own troubles and suddenly take up on something that's not even mine.
i don't know if that should be a good thing or bad. but it's in my nature.. sometimes, i don't even realize i'm being like that.
i know my entry is very vague. in time, i will tell you what's going on. i don't even know where to start. for now, i think, let's just let it be. i know, i will come to understand what's going on but not in my time. it's always about His time, He knows what's best. Always.
1 comment:
take e deep breath.......
very well done.
-hehe-
watsup wit that.lols! anyway, i think we all have our shitty days. i mean take a look at my blog, i wouldnt stop whining, lol. so anyway, i wish u better days ahead dear! muahs
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